YOU were born into this world with a purpose, yes, but whose purpose, exactly? Is it the one assigned to you since birth or the one you are destined to find along the way? Between familiar loop and desirable ideals, humans are destined to a lifetime of monumental decisions, hard questions and bridges that backfire. Life is never really fair, that’s just how it is. If you lose something, you’d be directed to something better. If you win something, you’d be tempted to give it up for a moment’s distraction. If you’re tired, you forget how to work hard. If you work too hard, you lose sense of direction and sanity.
When you are busy blaming your responsibilities and circumstances for the life you’re living, you tend to forget that truly, the one that is to blame is the person who is stuck in self-loathing. You are too scared to change but too prideful to yield. That is not a wonderful colour to your character, no, is it?
Continue to blame it all on society’s culture, norms, and expectations when all along, it is your expectations that eat you up at night after you look in the mirror. That happens to even the strongest and likeable people, where they tend to rationalize that it’s not their fault. It is never your fault how your life turned out to be. The only fault that is yours is not taking the opportunity and bravery to change it for the better.
I understand your concern, but listen, if your dreams do not make you scared to take the leap, were they ever really dreams in the first place?
If your decisions were going to affect certain people negatively, were they ever really worth being in your life?
If what is to become does not make you a happier person, why settle for what isn’t?
I know it is nerve-wrecking to potentially hurt those who are dear to you. You’re scared they’d leave, but let me tell you this. You were once in that position, but you stayed for them. If they were to leave after you take the bow and arrow, then you’d know. That some people do not deserve to be loved by you the way you do. Unrequited friendships, companionships, and love are often exposed by the most trivial of things, so try to aim for your dreams.
Then, you’d know. That the bigger dreams of yours deserve bigger and nicer people.
So, talk to yourself. Get to know yourself. Love yourself. Understand what it takes to make you happy. Think about where is the best place for you. Know what is your passion and purpose while you still have the power to wield the bow and arrow.
Because when it’s too late and you’ll have to pay for the prices, you’re already the prey of someone else’s bow and arrow.
Don’t ask how I know all this. You’d have to know how many arrow wounds I accumulated over the years and might I say, it’s not a small number.
Best regards, Gael Kavindra Wijaksana
